Blackout
by December Camie
Summary: "You're not alone, Karkat. Not anymore. You have a home, and a family. And I won't let anyone hurt you, no matter what happens. So. There's no need to be so scared of the dark, see?" Gamzee finished. (Modern AU- humanstuck)


Karkat could hear Gamzee's raspy breaths in the darkness, calm and even, less than a foot away. That was his only inclination that he wasn't alone, that there was someone else there and he had no reason to be scared. But even so, his heart jerked in his chest and his throat closed up, making it impossible to speak.

"Karkat," He heard Gamzee mumble quietly. "You alright, brother?"

Karkat scanned the black abyss that surrounded him frantically, but saw nothing. Stupid, he cursed himself. Why had he covered the windows? Why hadn't he left them open so he could at least see something?!

"Karkat?" Gamzee's voice was closer this time. "Where are you?"

Something brushed against Karkat's hand and he let out a cry of surprise, yanking his hand to his chest. Too late he realized that it was only Gamzee.

"Hey," Gamzee whispered and a bony hand grasped Karkat's shoulder, steadying the shorter male. "Hey. It's just me, best friend. Nothing to be 'fraid of."

"I- I am not scared," Karkat was able to say between clenched teeth. "Why would I be scared of you, idiot?"

Gamzee's laugh was deep and low; Karkat could feel it even through Gamzee's cold hand on his shoulder.

He reached up and placed a hand on top of Gamzee's. "I'm not scared of you," he repeated as steadily as he could. "Never you. You know that." He squeezed the bony hand, trying to warm it somehow. Gamzee always had cold skin, ever since Karkat could remember.

"Yeah. I know." Gamzee suddenly pressed his forehead against Karkat and Karkat flinched, not anticipating the touch without being able to see. "You're scared of somethin' else, I can tell. You got all up and quiet on me back there, an' you ain't ever quiet, bro. What's going on? What's got you so bothered?"

"I. Am. Not. Scared." Karkat snapped and clenched his free hand into a fist. But he was lying- flat out lying- and he could tell Gamzee knew it too.

But for once the artist was quiet, saying nothing, and let Karkat get used to the sound of their breathing. Karkat closed his eyes (because it wasn't like he could see anything anyway) and tried to calm himself.

There was a creaking sound, probably someone moving from upstairs, but it was loud enough for the sound to echo throughout the apartment. Karkat's eyes snapped open and he abruptly jerked away with a gasp.

"What was that?!" he squeaked as terror flashed through him. He turned around in a circle as he searched for the source of the noise.

He heard a movement to his right- Gamzee had probably shrugged. "Dunno. It was probably just a cat or something."

"It is not just 'something', Gamzee!" he hissed, tense as a bowstring. "I hate this! I can't see anything! What the heck happened to the lights-?"

"It's a blackout, Karkat," Gamzee said with a deadpan tone. "The lights went out and they're not coming back. Not for a while, at least."

"Don't say that! The lights will come back, they have to!"

"Well, yeah, 'course they will. S'not a permanent thing, blackouts. The electricity will come back eventually." A pause. "Is that what you're so freaked out about?"

"What?" Karkat reached out with a hand, trying to touch something- anything- to get an idea of where he was.

"The dark," Gamzee said and Karkat froze.

"No," he said when he found his voice. "That would be stupid. Only little kids are scared of the dark."

"Naw, that's not true. A bunch of people are scared of the dark. Don't like the idea that they can't see what's coming at 'em. It's kinda freaky when you think about it like that."

"You're not helping, you oaf!" Karkat said as panic started to build in his chest. "Now help me find the kitchen so I can find a candle or something!"

"If you stopped moving, maybe I could find you." Gamzee's hand touched his back and found its way down to Karkat's wrist. "Okay, let's go."

The pair slowly made their way across the floor, Karkat occasionally cursing when he bumped into things and starting at random noises.

"Stop laughing, it's not funny!" Karkat glared in the direction of Gamzee's snort.

"Whatever you say, bro. You don't need to be all freaked out tough; I'm right here with you. I won't let you stumble around in the dark alone."

"Thanks, Gamzee, you'll be the first one to know if I ever go blind and need a guard dog like Terezi," Karkat said sarcastically.

"One guard dog for blind Karkat coming right up. All I need is a leash and a collar and I'll be all ready to go."

"Don't be stupid."

"Woof, woof."

"Oh, god." Karkat face palmed. "Just, shut up. You're embarrassing me and nobody's even around."

"I try," Gamzee said and Karkat could hear the smile in his voice.

"Oof!" Gamzee suddenly let out a winded breath of air.

"What? What is it?!" Karkat squeezed Gamzee's hand tighter.

"Found the counter," Gamzee mumbled and there was a slapping noise as his free hand landed on the surface.

"Oh. Great." Karkat let out a breath. "So now we just have to find a candle-"

"And where would that be?"

"Uh. Good question." He moved forward and reached out with a free hand until he grasped the counter. "They're probably in the drawers somewhere…."

"Somewhere?" Gamzee echoed right beside him.

He scowled even though Gamzee couldn't see him. "At least I have candles-"

"But no flashlight?"

"Will you stop that?! I didn't know the power was going to go out, okay, and I don't keep a personal tab in my mind on where I keep matches! I don't know where everything is all the time, Gamzee, I'm sorry I can't be perfect-!"

"Chill, Karkat." A cold hand pressed to Karkat's cheek, causing goose bumps to rise on his arms. "Relax. I'm not yellin' at you or anything. It's just a candle."

Karkat took a deep breath and let it out through his nose. Gamzee was right, for once. It was pathetic, really. This whole thing was freaking him out just a little more than it should, and he seriously needed to get a grip on himself.

"I'm okay now." He moved away from Gamzee's touch and let go of his hand. Gamzee let him go without a word and Karkat felt down the counter until he felt the drawer's handles. He yanked it open.

"I found something," Karkat said to the general area of where he thought Gamzee might be.

"Hm?"

Gamzee sounded farther away than Karkat thought; he must have moved across to the other side of the kitchen or something.

"Yes!" With a grin, Karkat closed his hands around the familiar waxy cylinder. "I told you they were in here somewhere!"

There was a clicking noise behind him and Karkat spun around, terror causing his heart to jump to his throat.

"Got the lighter," Gamzee said softly and waved the lighter back and forth. The little flame swayed in the air, briefly illuminating Gamzee's face with its orange glow. He smiled.

If it had been anyone else, Karkat would have snatched the lighter away. Normal people don't smile like that with a flame in front of their face. But he didn't, because this was Gamzee, and Gamzee sometimes didn't know the difference between reassuring somebody and freaking them out.

"Jesus, Gamzee," Karkat rasped out. "Don't scare me like that."

"Sorry." Gamzee tilted his head and glanced down at Karkat's hand. "You found the candle."

"What?" Karkat looked down. "Oh. I mean, yeah. I did."

"Good. Stay still." Gamzee slowly lowered the flame to Karkat's candle, only moving away once it was lit. Karkat sighed in relief; now he could finally see properly.

"Are there any more in there?" Gamzee asked.

Karkat placed the candle on the counter and searched. "I think so."

"Do ya wanna light them up too?"

"I guess so. Then we can have enough light for the whole apartment, right?"

Gamzee nodded and the pair went about lighting the candles. Gamzee used the lighter as soon as Karkat was able to pull them out, and once they ran out they took turns placing them throughout the apartment.

When they were done, they stepped back to admire their handiwork.

"It looks…" Karkat started to say.

"Nice," Gamzee finished for him. He looked at the candles with a happy expression. "Like fireflies." He reached out to the closest one as if he was about to touch the flame.

"_Don't-_" Karkat slapped Gamzee's hand away. "-touch it, you moron! Didn't your parents ever tell you to not play with fire?! You'll burn yourself!"

Gamzee held his hand to his chest and massaged his fingers. He bit his lip, brow furrowed, and looked away. Karkat felt his stomach drop with a sudden realization.

"God," Karkat breathed out. "Of course no one told you better. Your stupid father-"

Gamzee flinched.

Karkat stopped immediately and clenched his teeth. Damn Gamzee and his random mood swings.

"All right, I get it. You don't want to talk about it. Fine. Let's just- I don't know, go sit in the living room and play cards or something stupid like that. There's nothing better to do since nothing electric works."

He tugged on Gamzee's hand until the taller male relaxed his tense stance. He led the way to the couch area while Gamzee trailed behind him like a lost child.

"C'mon, sit here." Karkat pressed his hands on Gamzee's shoulders and they both sat Indian style on the carpet in front of his couch.

"Your father," Karkat said hesitantly. Gamzee hunched his shoulders but Karkat grabbed his cold hands and squeezed them. "Your father, is he still-"

Gamzee nodded before he could finish speaking.

Karkat sighed. "What the hell, Gamzee. Why are you still living with that ass? Can't you go to Feferi or Eridan for help?"

"No," Gamzee whispered. "He would know I went there."

"Then- what about me?" Karkat suggested. He reached out to brush some of the unruly waves of dark hair out of his friend's face. "You could stay here; you know I don't mind having you around."

Gamzee let out a humorless bark. "I know, brother. But I can't risk putting my best friend in danger."

Karkat was unable to stop the sudden swell of affection and worry for the other. "Gamzee-"

"Don't worry, Karkat." Gamzee gave him a half smile. "Everybody has their demons, just in different forms." The flickering light cast shifting shadows on Gamzee's face, making him look oddly ghoulish. "Mine is my old man, yours is the dark."

Karkat flushed. "I thought I told you before that I'm _not_ afraid of the dark-!"

"But you are," Gamzee argued. "Don't up and lie to me. I can see it in your eyes."

He chooses now of all times to be observative, Karkat thought with annoyance.

"What's your point?" he snapped, knowing he couldn't lie now that Gamzee had caught him. "So what- who cares if I'm scared? It's no big deal or anything." He paused, and then a horrified thought crossed his mind. "Wait a second-"

He lurched forward and yanked hard on Gamzee's shirt so they were eye level. Gamzee let out a strangled noise that sounded strangely like a honk.

"If you tell Sollux Captor that I'm scared of the dark, I swear to god there will be no safe place on this Earth for you to hide Gamzee Makara-"

"Okay, I get it!" Gamzee yelped. "I won't tell anyone!"

"Good." He released his hold and Gamzee fell backwards.

"I wouldn't have told anyone anyways." Gamzee rubbed his chest where Karkat had grabbed him. "I wouldn't be a good friend if I told anyone. I wouldn't do that to you, Karkat."

Karkat scowled and tried to keep his guilt locked up and off his face.

"Listen, bro, I'm not gonna make fun of you or nothin'. I just wanna let you know that it's okay to be scared, everyone is scared of something. And- I don't like the dark either, to tell you the truth."

Karkat raised an eyebrow. "You don't?"

"Nope. The dark is a weird thing, man. Creepy stuff. It lets you make up things that aren't there. It's like- the dark lets your imagination run wild without giving it any permission or nothin'. And then the next thing you know, your nightmares are coming alive right in front of your eyes."

Karkat tried to ignore the rapid beating of his heart. "Gamzee. You're not helping."

"Oh. Sorry, brother." Gamzee tried to give him a reassuring smile, but it looked more like a grimace. "I didn't mean to freak you out none."

"I know." He breathed out through his nose and stared at one of the candles on a nearby coffee table.

"Why does the dark bother you so much?" Gamzee's voice drifted over him but he refused to look away.

"I-" Karkat struggled to find words, but Gamzee waited patiently.

"I'm not sure," he finally said with a heavy sigh. "I think it has something to do with the fact that I can't _see_ anything in the dark. I like to know what's around me in case I-"

He stopped, feeling himself pale slightly.

"In case what?" Gamzee asked. "In case you're attacked or something like that?"

Karkat didn't trust himself to speak. He nodded instead.

"Aw, Karkat." Gamzee leaned forward and pulled the smaller male into an uncomfortable hug. Karkat remained stiff, his chin pressed into Gamzee's shoulder at an awkward angle.

"You don't need to worry 'bout stuff like that anymore," Gamzee said into Karkat's left ear. "You're not ten years old living in that bad place no more. You're an adult with your own place and your own job without anyone to tell you what to do or how to act. No one can pick on or hurt on you now."

Karkat wheezed when Gamzee squeezed him tighter.

"You're not alone like you were when you were little."

"Oh?" Karkat rasped. "And why would you assume that? I have no family-"

"You don't need no family."

Karkat scowled and struggled to move away. Gamzee released him without resisting and Karkat fixed him with a sour look.

"I'm not sure if you noticed, Gamzee, but families are pretty freaking important."

Gamzee shrugged. "Take it from me, bro. Family ain't as important as you make it out to be."

Karkat mentally slapped himself. Of course Gamzee would think that way with that idiot father of his. But Gamzee didn't know what it was like for Karkat- who had never belonged anywhere nor had anyone there to take care of him. Ever.

"Well I think differently than you do," he said harshly. "Is it really so big of a crime to want people to be there for me when I need them- no matter what happens or how badly I screw up? To have people to worry about and care about? For once I want someone who won't abandon me alone after a couple of years!"

He sat back against the bottom of the couch with an irritated huff. He peeked at Gamzee and was surprised to see the artist regarding him with a thoughtful expression.

"You're wrong," Gamzee said after a moment.

Karkat rolled his eyes. "About what this time? Be more specific."

"You're not alone," Gamzee told him simply.

"No?"

"Nope."

A pause.

"Explain," Karkat commanded. Gamzee let out a chuckle and moved so that they sat side by side.

"You're not alone-" Gamzee repeated slowly.

"_Yeah_, I got that part-"

"-because I'm here with you." Gamzee finished and Karkat froze.

"You keep going on and on about what it means to be family," Gamzee said, waving a hand. "But you don't seem to understand that you're basically describing the relationship you have with your friends."

Karkat- for the first time in a while- was speechless.

"Friends are a kind of family," Gamzee hummed with a sincere smile. "My old man- he was never family to me; not the way family should be, at least. But I found my family someplace else. In you-" He gave Karkat a playful nudge. "-and Tav. And the rest of our little gang. So, all I'm saying is, why go lookin' for something you already got?"

Karkat's throat tightened, a lump forming, and his eyes were stinging.

"You're not alone, Karkat. Not anymore. You have a home, and a family. And I won't let anyone hurt you," Gamzee swore quietly and Karkat's eyes widened. "No matter what happens." One of Gamzee's long arms draped across his hunched shoulders and he squeezed Karkat's shoulders reassuringly.

"So. There's no need to be so scared of the dark, see?" Gamzee finished.

The last sentence was so random- so weirdly placed that Karkat actually laughed. That laugh turned into a sob and he raised his hand to cover his face. He felt Gamzee shift and the next thing he knew his face was pressed into another boney hug. Thin arms encircled him and he could feel Gamzee's cheek pressed into his hair.

This time, Karkat returned the embrace.

Gamzee was an idiot. There was no denying it. But, he knew exactly what to say at the right moments, and he never failed to make Karkat feel better regardless of how moody he was. And most importantly- he cared. He had been there for Karkat since day one, and Karkat believed the artist when he said he always would be.

"Promise you won't leave?" Karkat sniffed, rubbing his wet cheeks with a sleeve.

"Pinky promise." Gamzee offered a pinky finger and Karkat laughed again before he could stop himself.

"You're an idiot," he repeated out loud as they intertwined their fingers.

Gamzee grinned. "I know. We're family, though."

"Yeah. For life."

Gamzee nodded. "For life."

**-o0o-**

**I really enjoyed writing this! I had a lot of fun with it :)**

**I do not own Homestuck. This work is unedited, so sorry if there's any mistakes. Thanks for reading!**


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